Comfort Zone

I am in two minds about the post I am about to write.  I had already started writing my second post for this blog early last week.  Unfortunately, last Friday, when I was feeling particularly inspired to sit down for a long session of writing, I discovered that my laptop refused to turn on.

I pressed the power button.


I took the battery out, connect the laptop to mains power, and pressed the power button again.


I disconnected all power sources, pressed and held the power button for thirty seconds to reset the unit, reconnected the laptop to the mains power, and pressed the power button again.


And so, I was unable to complete my blog post, or do anything else that requires a computer (which turns out, is a lot).

Why am I in two minds about this? If the laptop had turned on, then I would have finished my post. At that stage of my life, a mere 4 days ago, I was riding on Cloud 9. I really felt like I had settled in London, I had experienced a few weeks of fun and frivolity, I was about to travel to Leeds for the weekend and I felt like the world was at my fingertips.

I was happy, which in my experience, often leads to very dull writing. No one wants to read about Sunshine and Lollipops. Actually, that sounds quite sunny and delicious. But you get my point.

So now, here I am, four days later, ignoring my half-finished blog post and writing this new post in my newfound shitty mood.

Pained at the idea of being without a laptop for too long, I quickly got to work finding the nearest repair technicians in the area and I dropped my laptop off at their offices.

I use the term “offices” very loosely. First, it was only one room so I suppose “office” would be a more accurate term. Secondly, the room was in an apartment building. Thirdly, the apartment building looked like the 80’s version of Degrassi Junior High.

Admittedly, upon arrival I had concerns that this back room venture was merely a front for stealing laptops and other gadgets, but I was desperate and the price was right and they assured me they would have it fixed by Monday.

Of course, it wasn’t until late Tuesday that I received a phone call to inform me that the ‘diagnostic’ was complete.

“The good news is, there is nothing wrong with your power button. The bad news is, your motherboard has fried.”

And so today is Wednesday and I am stuck in an internet cafe, trawling for jobs and cheap laptops on Groupon. And to top it off, my fancy Speck iPhone cover snapped.


In the same way that I used “offices”, I also use the term “Internet Cafe” quite lightly.  What the hell does that term mean, anyway? Is that meant to make the place seem more enjoyable? Well it’s not fooling me. For starters, the floor slopes and my chair has wheels so I keep sliding away from my computer. And to top it off, no espresso machine, I did not receive any friendly banter with the cashier, and there is zero atmosphere in this crap-hole.

Correction. There is an atmosphere. A hostile atmosphere.

You see, everyone in the room is either of African or Middle Eastern ethnicity and when White-Boy-Andrew walked into the Cafe, I was greeted with silence and stares.

“You don’t belong here, White Boy”, their stares screamed in unison as I sat down at this ancient machine.

Or maybe they were staring at me because I was wearing black Ray Bans when I walked in…

Can’t they tell that they are cheap knock-offs from Mykonos?

Or maybe they were staring at me because I was wearing black Ray Bans in London.

In March.


On an overcast day…

Maybe I need to have a good hard look at myself and wonder why my first instincts are to start racial profiling, when it was clearly a sunglasses-douche-baggery issue and nothing to do with the colour of my skin.


I blame my racist tendencies over-sensitivities  on my piece of crap Dell laptop. You see, when you are in a foreign country and things are well, everything seems AMAZING.  But, when you are in a foreign country and things go badly and you need to fix things to make it better, everything seems like a MUCH BIGGER PROBLEM than had the same thing occurred at home.

And then you turn into a racist.

It’s a thing. I assure you.

Remember, there is nothing like a little perspective to get you back to your free-loving, open-minded, non-bigoty ways. First World Problems, dude. First World Problems. And at least I’ve written an interesting post.


Was this interesting?

Sunshine and Lollipops would have been amazing…



5 thoughts on “Comfort Zone

  1. I’m loving this new blog. I’m not smart enough to keep up with your other one. This one is more my speed. Not to say this is dumb or anything…I think my point is being lost.

    Really though, love it 🙂

  2. Ha! I never considered Creepy Pants to be “smart”, but I’ll take it as a compliment. I think. Well, Creepy Pants will continue to live for now, but I assue more dumb ass posts in this EXCITING NEW BLOG!

  3. Pingback: Why London? « Ex-Patria

  4. Pingback: Recruit Me! (Addendum) AKA – I win! (For now…) « Ex-Patria

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