The Random Thoughts in the Day of a Document Reviewer

Who can function at work without an iPhone?

@ 7:00am: Let’s do this thing!

@ 7:01am: Okay, coffee first, then into it.

@ 7:06am: Okay, I’ll quickly check the headlines in Australia, then I’ll get into it.

@ 7:17am: Who the hell listens to Alan Jones, anyway. Seriously, douche bag.

@ 7:19am: I should probably tweet about this thing.

@ 7:35am: Okay, now, let’s do this thing!

@ 7:59am: One hour down. I’ll reward myself with another coffee.

@ 8:51am:One hundred and ten documents down. I wonder if I have any games waiting for me on Scramble With Friends.

@ 9:30am: One hundred and fifty documents reviewed. I should really check what’s happening in the UK now.

@ 9:33 am: Ooooh, there’s a Guardian app now.

@ 10:00am: I’m feeling sufficiently pretentious. Let’s do this thing!

@ 10:02am: I need some tunes if I’m going to get through this shit.

@ 10:45am: Brandon Flowers, you had a great thing going on. You were my favourite. I even thought you little country side project was lovely. Now please, put down the Springsteen records and give me The Killers back.

@ 10:47am: I should tweet that.

@ 11:00am: Four hours down. Boom. Coffee Break.

@ 11:22am: Why is everyone else in the room talking and laughing and having fun except for me? And Gavin. How did I get stuck next to Gavin? Hello? Gavin? Gavin. Gavin. Gavin. Why won’t you speak to me, Gavin? Can you hear me, Gavin? Ugh. Even your name is boring. Gavin. GAVIN! Not even a flinch. I guess he can’t hear my thoughts.

@ 12:00noon: It has only been five hours? Seriously? I am so bored. Must. Resist. Temptation. For. Break. Thirty more minutes. You will thank yourself later.

@ 12:28pm: Come on clock, you bastard!

@ 12:30pm: Lunch!

@ 1:04pm: Holy crap, my iPhone battery is nearly dead. Gotta find a socket!

@ 1:15pm: I can’t believe the only free socket was at the other end of the room. No more distractions now. Let’s do this thing!

@ 1:45pm: Two hundred documents down. I need a break. Awwwww, I want my iPhone!

@ 2:00pm: Gavin. Hello? Gavin. Gavin. Gavin. Gavin? Gavin! Maybe you can hear my thoughts and that’s why you won’t speak to me. Oh Gavin, I’ve just been joshing you. You’re such a cool guy. Gavin? Gavin!

@ 3:00pm: Three hundred and seventy-five documents reviewed. iPhone break!

@ 3:15pm: Damn it. Stupid phone is only at 50%. I’ll give it another half an hour.

@ 3:27pm: (Singing) I don’t wanna wait, for my life to be over, I want to know right now what will it be… I don’t wanna wait…

@ 3:58pm: How many instant coffees in one day are too many instant coffees?

@ 4:33pm: What ever happened to Fred Savage?

@ 4:34pm: iPhone! Yes!

@ 4:35pm: Oh that’s what happened to Fred Savage.

@ 5:07pm: Crap, all my friends on Scramble With Friends are in Australia and they are sleeping.

@ 5:11pm: How is this not over? O-V-A-H. Ovah it!

@ 5:20pm: I am sick of every single song on my iPhone… oooh, Journey!

@ 5:22pm: (Singing) Anyway you want it, that’s the way you need it, anyway you want it!

@ 5:30pm: Four hundred and thirty documents. Awesome. Sigh.

@ 5:47pm: Skin crawling. Forehead sweating. Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.

@ 5:50pm: Okay, I think I had too many coffees. I better look it up on my iPhone.

@ 6:00pm: I wonder if I will ever travel in outer space?

@ 6:05pm: This job cannot be legal.

@ 6:30pm: This would be the perfect moment to break out into song, with co-workers dancing to choreography.

@ 6:42pm: Five hundred and twenty documents. Let’s do this thing!

@ 6:43pm: Kill me.

@ 6:55pm: I can’t take this any longer!

@ 6:59pm: Come oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!

@ 7:00pm: Oh, look at that. It’s home time. Have a wonderful night everyone. I will see you all in the morning.


10 thoughts on “The Random Thoughts in the Day of a Document Reviewer

  1. Why do you have such a long work day? Seriously? I thought Europeans had it better than us…wtf. Thanks for blowing a hole in my entire understandstanding of the global workforce. Dbag.


    (Not really)

    • The English are always trying to separate themselves from the Europeans. Draconian work conditions is an interesting way to do it.

      Where have you been? No blog? No twitter? No love ?

      • I somehow just realized Don Draper was in this post and now I wish I could have sex with it.

        I like to classify everyone who is not American as European. This includes the British, Africans, Canadians, and people from Hawaii.

        I’m in the throws of apologizing to everyone I have pretty much ignored for the last few weeks. I have not been blogging, tweeting, or anything else that would indicate that I have any interest in the people who take the time to read my stuff, which makes me a huge asshole. Because I do care, but I have problems with not destroying any level of interest people have in me. I’m not depressed. I just talk like it.

        Anyway it is safe to say I am not blogging every day this October, but you are doing a pretty good job writing regularly. I hate you.

      • I like your “fuck it” attitude. Treat ‘me mean, keep ’em keen. Or something like that.

        That strategy totally works in the blogging world, right? If I post the word “fuck” enough I am certain to finally get Freshly Pressed.

        Maybe you shouldn’t listen to me.

  2. haha… Loved this entry! Thanks for the laugh!! This is very similar to my day today..
    1.49pm: Read Andrew’s blog
    1.51pm: Now back to work…

  3. That is a long ass day. My thoughts tend to ramble as well, so my phone tends to act as an enabler. I’m glad you figured out what happened to Fred Savage.

  4. Pingback: I Quit « Ex-Patria

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