Science: Educational or Inappropriate for Children?

Since becoming unemployed, I have had to get creative in order to distract myself from my writing. At first, it was quite easy. Two days into unemployment (through one of my internet-surfing procrastinations) I found out that there I was yet to watch the last seasons of Weeds and The Big C. Those twelve hours were mostly filled with disappointment, however they were littered with the occasional epiphany. Like how comedies about women who rebel against their mundane existence and lead selfish lives at their families’ expense are starting to wear thin. And how there is a bizarre and unexpected lack of interesting male-centric comedies being produced. And that I am apparently am capable of wishing that someone would just die of cancer already. I felt somewhat disgusted in myself over the last one, even though my thoughts were directed at a fictional character.

Thankfully, I have somehow restrained from watching any day time television. However, after I realising that the sum of each half hour of uninspiring dramedy equated to half a day of my life that I would never get back, I decided that I needed better ways to distract myself. It was either that or actually writing! Could you imagine? Being productive whilst unemployed? I don’t think so!

All this free time has enabled me to get back into a good gym routine, however that only keeps me occupied for a couple of hours each day. So what was a boy to do? JD keeps reminding me that I live in one of the greatest cities in the world which offers hundreds of activities everyday, for people of all desires and tastes. And I keep reminding JD that it is as cold as shit outside and if I stay home I am able to wear pyjamas at noon and surf the net while basking in the glory of central heating. The problem with my logic is that it brings me back to square one: watching sub-par American television (you thought I was going to say writing).

I needed to get out of the house and do something, so on Wednesday I convinced my housemate to skip his university lecture [because who the hell actually goes to lectures?] and come with me to the London Science Museum in Knightsbridge. The Science Museum was everything I could have hoped for. It was educational. It was interactive. It had a mechanical flight simulator! With seven floors packed full of scientific wonders, there was enough to distract Ben and I for four wonderful hours. We were like kids in a candy store! Or rather, kids in a science museum!

One of my biggest concerns was that we were going to have to deal with hundreds of kids laughing and crying and stomping and chewing and spitting and basically ruining it for me and all of my unemployed comrades. However, to our surprise, the Science Museum was relatively child-free. And thank Jeebuz, because boy did I see a lot of things that were not made for children’s eyes. Unless your child had been naughty and, as a punishment, you wanted to show them something disturbing so that your child had terrible nightmares [I should never be a parent].

And with that in mind, I present to you:


(or, reasons why you shouldn’t teach children anything)

Please click on the photos for hilarious captions. [Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee that the captions are hilarious].

I promise I will give you a real post next time. Enjoy the slide show!

~ Expatria


2 thoughts on “Science: Educational or Inappropriate for Children?

  1. Yeah, come on, pal, how about a REAL post? Oh, and don’t forget to check out the review I did of the spaghetti I made last night on my blog!

    P.S. – This might be a warning sign, but I knew that was a vagina opener before reading any of the caption.

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